I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
