i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
