Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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