If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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