Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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