I wanna passion pit in your ass
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
