we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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