Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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