she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
