I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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