Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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