i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
