Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
