is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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