I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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