Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
