It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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