When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
