Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
