hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I could fuck to npr.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
