You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
