There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Be still, my beating vagina.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
