babies were throwing up all over the place
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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