Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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