She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
