My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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