dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
