I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
