How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
