marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
