Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
