Sry I called you an 8
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
