Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
