sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
