I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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