Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
