i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
