So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
