Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
