Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
