How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
