how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
