Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just cut my nipple shaving
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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