Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
