I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
