D3 body, D1 cock
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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