i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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