so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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