she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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