return my video game
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
