So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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