somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
