he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
